Movie Addicts. Celeb Dishers. Gamers. We're All Here.

No, seriously! It’s TRUE! I can scarcely believe it myself, and if I were actually looking to go to Pennsylvania any time soon I’d swing by just for the sheer coolness factor involved here. You see, the mall where they shot Dawn of the Dead–the original, not that second-rate suck-farm that was the remake–is an actual mall. It’s called the Monroeville Mall, and it’s located in Monroeville, Pennsylvania.

It’s said that many of the original features–like wall displays, and of course the fountain–can still be found in full operational condition in the Monroeville Mall, and this lends a special and very unique opportunity to see a piece of horror film history first-hand. Which is why it makes especial sense to note that the HorrorHound Weekend crew will be putting on the first-ever showing of Dawn of the Dead at the Monroeville Mall.

There are of course several other reasons to go see this sucker–check out this quote describing the upcoming festivities:

The Dawn of the Dead screening will take place where the Monroeville Mall’s old clock tower once stood, on a 50-foot screen, which will take over the Mall after closing time, Saturday June 21st, as over 500 fans pack this special section of the Mall, right down the hall from Time and Space Toys’ brick and mortar location, Toy Galaxy (who helped bring this event together), where refreshments will be available. Admission to this special screening is available at the HorrorHound Weekend event - located across the street, inside the Pittsburgh ExpoMart - for a modest $5 - all proceeds of which will be donated to the Make-a-Wish Foundation! ToeTag Pictures will be doing zombie make-up on guests all day leading up to the screening to help make this evening all the more memorable, as over ten “Dawn” alumni will be on-hand during the screening to ensure the night’s authenticity.

All the reason you ever needed to go to Pennsylvania. And before you pack your bags, try the Dead series trivia on Kwanzoo!

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I genuinely do NOT know what to make of this, folks. I’m abundantly confused. The puzzlement shoots through my soul like bolts of lightning as I announce that Picturehouse, the guys who handled Pan’s Labyrinth, and Warner Independent are both offline. Seventy people lost their jobs, and what does this all mean?

Warner Brothers President and Chief Operating Officer Alan Horn would have you believe this line of drivel:

“We’re confident that the spirit of independent filmmaking and the opportunity to find and give a voice to new talent will continue to have a presence at Warner Bros.”

Basically translates as “We don’t know what we’re doing or how indie films actually work. We can’t hawk them like regular pictures so we’re getting out of that market before we hemorrhage any more cash.”

Indeed, Warner lost a spectacular amount of cash on the indie film market, which leads me to–surprisingly–a conclusion. Oh yes, I was confused, but now I sit at my keyboard, with a smug smile and just one thing to say to Warner:

GOOD RIDDANCE.

You have done one fantastic thing for the indie film community, Warner, and you have proven that hidebound, monolithic ultracorps like yourselves just plain old CAN’T. HANG. AOL Time-Warner is one of the largest conglomerations on the face of the earth. Its annual revenues are measured in billions. It dwarfs the economies of many, many countries. Half of South America would kill the other half to have Warner’s bottom line.

But they can’t make a profit on independent film.

Yet it’s being done. Being done every day, as a matter of strict fact. Oh, sure, maybe not a whole lot of profit, but surprise surprise, there’s plenty of folks out there making a living on the indie circuit. They’ve got to be quick and they’ve got to be agile and they’ve got to innovate like no tomorrow but it can be done.

The massive fiduciary lummox known as AOL Time-Warner, meanwhile, is perfect proof that not just anybody can handle it.

Celebrate the joy that is indie with the indie movie trivia on Kwanzoo.

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Tomonobu “I wear sunglasses indoors” Itagaki, the man behind such Tecmo franchises as Dead or Alive and the non-NES Ninja Gaiden games, announced that the upcoming Ninja Gaiden II will be the last in the series.

“Personally I think we were able to create the definitive 3D game in this series so I’m not planing on making any other games in the series,” Itagaki said through a translator. “So I hope fans treat this as a swan song for the franchise.

I have to admit, it’s a little surprising to hear that from someone who apparently thought the first game was so amazing that it needed two remakes, not counting the DS spinoff or the upcoming sequel.

Still, it’s good to see him recognize the need for innovation. If developers were to continue to tread the same ground over and over, it would mean nothing but a slow, stagnant death for the industry. Fortunately, Itagaki plans to come to the table with something fresh and-

Itagaki said what he’d like to do is work on another action title or perhaps a war themed game, perhaps something set in the Pacific Theater during World War II.

Oh, god damn it.

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Back in the days of Sex and the City and The Sopranos, HBO was the king of TV. At least, that’s what Stuart Levine of MSNBC claims. It’s not hard to believe; Sex is one of the most talked-about shows of the past decade, while The Sopranos has a user rating of 9.5 stars on IMDB. But now, HBO’s hemorrhaging viewers, and everyone wants to know why.

This March, head of programming Carolyn Strauss was let go, having been blamed for the recent drop in ratings. But, as with most things, the reasons behind falling viewership are many and varied. And they’re probably not anyone’s fault.

Levine points out that HBO’s programming - according to critics, at least - hasn’t fallen in quality. Shows like In Treatment, while barely scraping by in the ratings, are still considered to be the cream of the crop. Why don’t they have the same kind of appeal that some of HBO’s big hits have garnered?

Of course, some of HBO’s famous shows never had the kind of ratings that would keep a show running on network T.V. The Wire, too complex and plot-driven for the average viewer to follow, stayed on the air for five seasons to feed its small fanbase. The underappreciated Flight of the Conchords has been renewed for another season, and all the while, HBO is having to compete with with copycats like Showtime and FX.

It’s entirely possible, Levine admits, that HBO will never have another Sex or Sopranos. But that doesn’t mean that the network should change the way it does business. HBO has the unique advantage of not answering to anyone but its stockholders, and it should use its power to put quality programming on the air - no pandering to the riff-raff. They can keep watching their free television.

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Everyone loves a femme fatale. And Marc Hirsh of MSNBC has put together a mostly-random list of “Our favorite TV bad girls,” though you have to give him credit for not giving it some kind of superlative title like “BEST EVER.”

While classic villianesses like Amanda of Melrose Place are present, some of the ladies he’s honored with the distinction seem a little out of place.

Cordelia Chase, for one, of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. While Cordelia is certainly not a sympathetic character, or even necessarily a bearable one, she’s far from evil. Hirsh writes:

Mean Girls don’t get any meaner than Cordelia, who ruled Sunnydale High School with a mouthful of blinding teeth and a head full of withering put-downs. (Not for nothing did the license plate on her bitch-red car read “Queen C.”)

Until now, I wasn’t aware that “bitch-red” was even a color. In any case, while the writer does admit that Cordelia takes a turn for the better (especially in the spin-off, Angel) he fails to acknowledge the fact that she’s essentially harmless. Snarky, sure, but sticks and stones are much more important in Buffyverse, where sarcasm rules the day. Especially as the show took a darker turn in later seasons, Cordelia started to look like Captain Kangaroo. And in any case, I think we all know that Buffy’s ultimate Bad Girl is Faith. She has all of Cordelia’s bitchy qualities, plus a complete disdain for authority that ultimately leads her to serve a demon AND commit murder. Some Slayer.

Another dubious choice is found at the bottom of the list, which features a rare glamour shot of Aida Turturro as Janice Soprano. To call any Sopranos character “bad” is difficult, since they are all so meticulously multi-layered, but Janice hardly qualifies. Both selfish and ruthless, she is nonetheless no worse than her brother, or even, occasionally, his wife. While vindictive and manipulative, she is only a pale imitation of the queen bee: Livia Soprano. Her magnum opus of taking out a hit on her own son is impossible to top.

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It may be a sign of some logic getting introduced to Hollywood, or just a sign that the universe hates Lindsay Lohan almost as much as most of humanity, but Lindsay Lohan is, as of right now, no longer involved in the upcoming Manson Girls film.

Naturally, Lindsay Lohan had a ready excuse for why she’s no longer involved in the Manson Girls film–apparently, she just had SO MUCH going on that she needed to move along and, you know, do that stuff that was, apparently, calling. Or something like that.

Meanwhile, online mag Hollywood Deadline had this to say:

“…people associated with the movie told agents that Lohan quickly became more of a deficit than an asset when they discovered that they couldn’t find any name actresses who wanted to co-star with her.“

What?? No! The hell you say! Surely someone wants to be LINDSAY LOHAN’S CO-STAR! Come on!

Someone?

Anyone?

Queen Latifah? Andy Dick?

Anybody?

And if I could insert a sound file of crickets chirping right here, I would. Just for the sheer comic glee.

Well, this may well mean the end of the Lohan’s career…so go on over to Kwanzoo and play some Mean Girls trivia, just to remember the…good?…old days.

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Massively.org published a column suggesting people could put MMO raiding experience on their resumes, triggering the short-circuiting of hundreds of keyboards as HR personnel around the nation all did a collective spit-take with their morning coffee.

Well, maybe it’s not that crazy. Raiding in the old 40-man groups in WoW started with the cat-herding exercise of trying to get forty people in forty different places to all log on and show up on time, resembling more of a human resources nightmare than anything like a game. I mean, I quit WoW when I realized that, but I guess the point still stands.

On the other hand, despite having just spent a good long time job hunting in one of the most tech-savvy parts of the nation, I can’t imagine a recruiter responding to such a resume with anything other than “Oh, that’s interesting,” followed by a tight-lipped smile.

So if you’re willing to take the advice of Cameron Sorden and put WoW raiding on your resume, then you’ve got bigger stones than I do. And if you do go in to an interview with such a resume, you really, really need to write me afterwards to tell me how it turned out.

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This news is somewhat weird, but for Romero fans, it will absolutely blow your mind. I realize the headline somewhat gives it all away, but let me run it down for you.

Way back in the long-long-ago that was the 1980s, George Romero released what horror buffs thought would be his last zombie film, Day of the Dead. Though no one HOPED it would be his last, and indeed, it was not to be, it was still his last zombie movie for around about two decades. And in Day of the Dead, Romero introduced the “character” of Bub. Bub was a zombie that was being trained for domestication, and– far be it from me to spoiler!–it did NOT end well.

So it came as something of a shock when the Grand Old Man of Survival Horror, George Romero, recently said:

They’re no longer mine, and it’s very expensive. I can’t do like Steve King did with CASTLE ROCK. However, if i could get the permission…. there’s a character in my new script which could be become Bub, in other words, he would be alive now. But they’d probably want a lot of money for that. I’m bad with that business stuff (laughs).”

Which of course is enough to get every zombie fan’s heart a-racin’, but not enough to mean much in the long run. We’ll be waiting for clarification, naturally, but I couldn’t care less if Bub comes back or not. I’ll take Romero zombie movies any way he wants to offer them up. Let’s face it–Diary of the Dead was a spectacle of raw kickass, almost like that Powerthirst commercial on Youtube. I crave his next one like fat kids crave cake.

Come to think of it, I’d love some cake.

And until I can get some cake…or zombie movie, whichever, try the Dead series trivia on Kwanzoo. That’s almost as good.

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Our article yesterday focused on making mainstream games accessible to the disabled. But what about making games that are designed to be accessible from the ground up?

One company that makes games built for universal access is 7-128 Software, a collection of seven full-time employees in the Boston area.

The initial idea for the company came in the mid-80’s, said John Bannick, 7-128’s chief technology officer. He was working at Xerox under Ray Kurzweil, the inventor of the first text-to-speech reading machine for the blind.

Musician Stevie Wonder was a longtime user of the machines. One day, they got a call from one of his people.

The machine kept talking about a pirate.

Stevie Wonder was not reading a book about pirates. What was going on, they asked?

Bannick went to one of the engineers. As it turned out, the reading machine had been programmed with a copy of Zork,* which Mr. Wonder must have somehow accidently activated.

“I thought to myself ‘Damn! You could write a text-based game for the blind,’” Bannick said.

Bannick started 7-128 Software in 2007, and the company has a library of puzzle and adventure games, all rated for whether they can be used by players who are blind, visually impaired, colorblind, deaf, motion impaired or cognitively impaired. However, 7-128’s games are targeted to everyone who plays casual games, not just disabled ones, said Bannick.

Though Bannick has been working in user interfaces for 30 years, he’s fascinated by the challenges in making games for the disabled not just accessible, but entertaining. “It’s a whole new realm,” he said.

In one case, the company was doing playability testing for one of the games in the “Inspector Cindy in Newport” series, text-driven adventures that take place in 1890’s-era Rhode Island.

The feedback they got back from one of their blind testers, Rosie, was “This is boring. I want to hear some interesting sounds.”

That was Bannick’s introduction to “ear candy,” as opposed to the usual eye candy. The games now have rich incendental sounds like carriages going by, servant’s chimes or grandfather clocks.

The text also describes the world in a way that isn’t necessarily visual. For instance, the game might talk about hearing steam whistles or smelling horses and perfume.

For the future, Bannick is interested in getting a brain control unit and designing a game specifically for this emerging technology. We here at Kwanzoo will be taking a look at these new devices in the next week or so.

*”But wait,” you’re saying. “Zork didn’t have a pirate. Adventure had a pirate.” Since we are also trivia pedants, we asked Bannick about that. Here’s the reply:

“The interesting thing about it was that at that time the Reading Machine software was written in Data General Nova Assembler. Assembler takes a lot more effort to code. Apparently those coders had a whole lot more time on their hands than we do today.”

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There are some out there who regard me as something of a stoic figure, lacking in sentimentality, and they’re quite right. But I, much like the rest of you, was greatly saddened by the screwing by the network Mystery Science Theatre 3000 received. Between the shafting they got on Comedy Central, and the subsequent shafting they took from the Sci-Fi channel, it’s a wonder they can still walk.

But you can’t keep a good comic down, no matter how hard two separate networks can try, and thus, Mystery Science Theatre 3000 makes a comeback. Sort of.

Called Rifftrax, they’re basically MP3s that you can download–for a fee, naturally–that were designed to be played in sync with various films, including, among others, Jurassic Park, Cloverfield, and I Am Legend. These MP3s, naturally, are packed with the movie-specific humor that we’re used to from Mike and the Bots, and indeed, several of the original MST3K cast is back and doing Rifftrax right along with Mike.

Though for some reason, Joel is nowhere to be found. What, Mike–you can’t share the limelight with the Original Janitor? He may have been just another face in a red jumpsuit, but he was taking on the Mads long before YOU ever showed up!

You is a PUNK, sir. A PUNK.

But still…I haven’t actually managed to download one of these yet. And yet, I can’t help but think this was a fantastic idea. There’s absolutely no copyright issues to deal with here, no studios can possibly object or sue over it, and yet Mike and company get to give viewers what they’ve wanted all along–the Mistie treatment of modern craptacular cash grabs.

And in celebration of this newfound joy, let us all go forth and play Mystery Science Theatre 3000 trivia on Kwanzoo.

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